First Date No-No's
The night you've been waiting for is finally here. You're going out with HIM.
You're so eager to get to know him better. Let's be honest... you want
to let him experience the real you. But hold on. It's make it or break
it time. You only get one, somewhat delicate, chance to make a first
impression. So he needs to meet the best you.
To ensure he sees your most excellent, beautiful self shine through,
you'll need to watch your words. They can have a way of hanging you when
you least expect it. To stay in the safe zone, be sure never to utter
one of these things on your first date:
IMPRESSION BUSTER 1: "Doesn't dating (online) suck!"
Singles often say this to build rapport. And it can feel chummy to
share dating war stories. But in the back of his mind, you've already
planted a little negative seed that says, "I look on the dark side."
He'll now be waiting for it to sprout into a full downer.
Impression Booster: Instead, build real and positive connection by asking what he's passionate about and sharing your most meaningful thrill too.
IMPRESSION BUSTER 2: "You should know, I have this condition, baggage, big fat hairy issue…"
Shouldn't you just come out and share all of the potential deal
breakers right off the bat? No! When you make it past the crucial first
three dates, there is plenty of time to share the full, naked truth. But
if you tell him right now, without knowing more about you, he'll
probably press the reject button. However, if he likes who you really
are first, there is a lot he'll accept to be with your otherwise lovely
self.
Impression Booster: Why not highlight some reasons why you are a
total catch? Share some stories that show your "great catch" qualities
for him to get a sneak peak into your true self.
IMPRESSION BUSTER 3: "My ex was such a jerk."
Any talk of your past relationship on a first date is a big turn off.
But playing the blame game is the biggest no-no of all. This shows that
you aren't mature enough yet to take responsibility for your behavior.
He'll be wondering just how long it will be until you blame him for
everything.
Impression Booster: If you must explore previous relationships
on your first date, try asking him what he learned about himself the
last time he was part of a couple. This will encourage him to show you
how he's grown as a partner! And you can share the same about yourself.
IMPRESSION BUSTER 4: "Waiter, I can't believe this soup is cold. Get me another!"
He's watching your every move to get a sense of how you will treat him
over time. Even if you're sweet as sugar to him, if you indulge in
impatient, unkind, or rude remarks to other people, he won't be able to
trust you. He'll know there is a monster lurking and ready to attack him
the next time.
Impression Booster: Even if things don't go perfectly smoothly
or as planned, show him you can stay calm, friendly, and gracious under
stress. That's the kind of partner he knows he'd be lucky to land.
IMPRESSION BUSTER 5: "My place or yours?"
If you really like him, you'll leave some mystery and make him wait to
discover more of you. Building intrigue and allowing time for a real
bond, is the only way to avoid a crash and burn first date.
Impression Booster: Keep it simple by saying, "You seem like a
great guy. I can't wait to learn more about you soon," as you smile and
head for the door.
By watching your words and staying positive, you can create a great
first impression which sparks in him the desire to see you again.
Got any date mistakes to share? Let us know!
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